Friday, March 20, 2015

Of Raqaiq

Assalamualaikum

16112013
Tarikh masuk ke Raqaiq

17032015
Tarikh pindah ke Muntalaq

Setakat empat tahun hidup di Mesir ini, this is the fourth time saya pindah rumah. Bukan sebab gaduh dengan rumah lama, bukan sebab harga sewa naik apa semua, tapi sebab nak mencari dan meningkatkan diri (menjadi tinggi sampai ke langit lol). Alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah, kerana telah dipermudah semua urusan oleh Allah, lebih lebih lagi dipermudahkan part hati untuk terus belajar dan menerima suasana baru acapkali bergerak.

So, post ini dibuat khas untuk reminiscing memories I've got throughout life in Raqaiq, from start till the end. Kak rai selalu kata saya ni jenis selalu lupa dan tak kisah dengan keadaan sekeliling, maka untuk menjadi seorang yang mampu menjaga hubungan jarak jauh/mengingat memori lama dengan baik adalah sukar bagi saya.

Jadi mari membumikan kisah-kisah dan perasaan yang mahal itu di dalam post ini.
Semoga Allah pelihara cinta yang bertandang antara kami di rumah yang sangat kami sayangi itu.

Raqaiq

--maksudnya pelembut hati. Rumah ini dah lama dah ada, sebelum saya pindah ke sana lagi. Namanya diberi atas sekuel buku Muntalaq, karya Muhammad Ahmad Ar-Rasyid, seorang tokoh fiqh dakwah Iraq yang sangat mahsyur dengan karya-karyanya yang menggegar jiwa. Kak Nisa pernah cakap, kenapa penulis tulis buku Raqaiq, ialah kerana buku Muntalaq ialah some sort of motivation untuk kita bergerak. Then sekuelnya Raqaiq mengajar kita untuk retract balik fitrah asal kenapa kita menjalani kehidupan dalam landasan DnT.

Supaya tidak ada istilah 'gila dakwah, hati kering.' Which phrase yang selalu menjadi sebutan akhawats tatkala dah lama dalam dnt dan buat macam-macam kerja dakwah. Usrah rasa tak basah lah, naqibah tak best lah, penat lah, ect ect. Even me once felt that, even seawal 2 tahun dalam dnt. BARU 2 tahun. Haih. Keje pun tidak, ada hati nak rasa penat. Masih banyak lagi perkara yang perlu diperlajari.

Balik kepada kisah asal, jadi, awal tahun ketiga di Mesir adalah antara moment-moment yang penuh konflik dalan diri saya. Ketika itu, ramai kawan-kawan yang balik ke Malaysia untuk meneruskan pelajaran di sana, akhawat ramai dah takde, DnT yang berterabur sikit sebab pengolahan semula sistem dan tanzim, dan...saya yang rasa nak pindah rumah xD. Out of nowhere. Sebab; macam takde sebab je nak pindah. Ansar has been a great place for its 6 members, rasa seronok sangat duduk situ. Sebab terkuat yang ada ialah nak pindah sebab melihat kekosongan beberapa RI yang ada umpama makanan yang tidak boleh ditolak tepi.

Indulging!

Lebih-lebih lagi bila muntalaq ada satu kosong, menyebabkan diri ini berimpian besar nak duduk di situ. Tetapi, takdir Tuhan lebih kuat, RI yang boleh offer saya masuk hanyalah raqaiq ketika itu. Menangis dengar.


Sambung kemudian

Monday, March 9, 2015

Kemanisan Iman

Assalamualaikum

Usual routine on saturday night, we gonna have a class among akhawats, discussing on selected books. This is what we call as 'bedah buku' as we're going deep on each words stated in it to get the full understanding of what the author wants a reader to grasp upon reading such book. And the things that i like the most is when each of us share about her opinion or extra notes or experiences that they got before and indulge/integrate them with the book's content.

So the last saturday is the day when i was moody enough to put people around me under tension. Haha. But the class begun as usual, and i came a little bit late that it spoiled my mood to some extent; but anyhow let's just enjoy today's lesson.

Kak Ainin was the one being the presenter on that night. So her soft decent voice somewhere melts my hard-cobble-stoned heart that i started to pay attention. I keep giving myself a whisper "nabila, tajdid niat, tajdid niat." It was not long from the beginning of the discussion when kak Ainin suddenly called my name, "nabila, boleh tak awak share sikit macam mana perasaan lazatnya kemanisan iman tu."

Shocked. A lot.

"...Awak mestilah pernah rasa kan. Entah-entah banyak kali." Her face blossomed with a smile...

..while me, pouting a face like being chocked by something big --a monster. Peluh besar nak jawab. I hate this kind question upon times like this. But all of the akhawats already turned their face towards me; then i need to answer it.

"Errr..

"Manisnya iman tu feeling dia macam kita rasa seronok sangat dengan Allah tu. Rasa energetic sangat nak buat ibadah tu, ye la, sebab kita rasa seronok, rasa happy."

And as the words going down I feel like i'm stabbing myself with an arrow. Multiple times. Haih.

I guess Allah loves me so much that He always put me in this kind of situation. Really hope that He'll never turn Himself back from me and leave this terrible awful horrible kind of servant by herself.

Sekian.



Kerana Aku Juga Manusia

Assalamualaikum

These few days were tough on me. Basically i don't know what happen or what's so big being burden on me but my head bluffed with stuffs. I even cannot overcome myself; un-guiltily throwing tantrums on others. May Allah bless them for having such patience enduring hard times with me.

I hate the title, but I have to admit it.

Because i'm a human.
And i'll bleed when i fall down.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Beautiful women

Assalamualaikum

I have encountered a lot of good people in the world; especially since I came to Egypt. They are too good, too wonderful. And no one as bad as me, yeah I'm sure I am the 'wickest' among all as I know all the things playing in my heart each and every then.


Of course I don't know what plays in their inside but apparently they are blooming themselves, stunning me with all those beautiful akhlaqs. It's like, macam boleh jatuh cinta laa dengan mereka for they are amazing people. How they are so polite, never say no to others especially the ones concerning the needy ones. Never hesitates to allocate their precious time for others, always smiling, and I never once see them without al-quran in their hand,

I once wrote before, how strong imaan inside is like a really tough tree, in which the roots went deep inside the ground, attaching itself firmly on the earth. While the upper part of the tree went up high crouching the wide blue sky. And lots of branches grew out from it. All these kalimah potraying a good big steady and stable tree. That's how a good imaan is. And in DDU, Salim A Fillah remind us not to forget the continuation of that ayah "..........(pohon) itu menghasilkan buahnya pada setiap waktu seizin Tuhannya, ..." (14:25). Yep, this time we will talk about the fruit.

As written in Muntalaq, an imaan should be fruitful. As what a tree does. A fruit is one of the benefits that people gain from a tree. So, a good mukmin should show his 'fruits' so that others will also 'terkena tempias' imaan too.

And the fruit is akhlaq. If it isn't shown on figure of a mukmeen then it must be something wrong happened here.


Hmm thus, my calculation will go this way;

Iman=akhlaq
If someone good, means the akhlaq was good.
So someone with good akhlaq should be a good servant to His God.

Or,

When someone enters tarbiyyah, should be his imaan got nutured and increased, by time
So as the iman got bigger, then the akhlaq comes in
People of tarbiyyah are wonderful inside out


Err of course lah, those above words are too ideal. People are not perfect.
Also in DDU, Salim A Fillah also explains how iman=akhlaq wasn't having cause-effect relationship. In contrast, akhlaq is something a muslim should 'juhd' for. Fight for. It needs training, it needs enthusiasm, spirit of not giving up, a strong will, ect.

Which, all those strong desire to change and become better comes from imaan itself.
Allah is the best reason for us to having a mukmeen's virtue as "Innallaha jamaal, wa yuhibbu jamaal"

"Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty"

May I become as decent as those whom near to Allah :) Ameen.


After all, this is my new goal in #roadtobecomeakhawat xD
Sekian.