Shocked

Assalamualaikum

Recently one of my patient dead of septic shock.
And i was ultimately shocked hearing this news
It was during my oncall day when i received her admission - she came in pallor, but with good GCS
Keep complaining non specific muscleache here and there
And even requested me to massage her shoulder

At first i thought it was manjalitis syndrome
That poor child came from shelter home - her parents abandoned her and her brother
Little did i know the condition worsened on the morning
And the child went into shock that evening
Bradycardiac, asystole for 1 minutes
CPR commenced x 3, child was even intubated

I kept thinking
Was it my mistake not to attend her properly
She kept calling for us overnight, requesting for water and food
Like wanting someone to be beside her all the time
As her parents not there

Poor child
Sorry for not giving you tembikai as you requested
May you rest in peace over there..

Of Rainbow

It was raining on the day when i first hold your hand tightly;
Two rainbows came out at the end of the day;
And i love it. It makes me smile after a really hectic and awkward day.

Thanks Allah for such a big present.
May the love we outgrew together is for the sake of You.

Officially married :D

Jangan halau rahmat Allah dengan banyak merungut

I dont know when exactly i attempted to make a post for this topic, but i love the title. I drafted this post since I was still in egypt.
Those time when going to usrah is not really a big struggle for me, i enjoyed it very much there.
(even now still not a hard struggle, why, because i have fatiah to go together with, khairiah to stay with, and all the fun usrah members to mingle with, as well as our awesome naqibah kak han. Ya Allah, ease my heart and make me steadfast in this road till the end of my life.)

About barakah and rahmat. 
Sometimes it is us who drive the goodness away,

Usually by our own negative thinking. Once a friend said to me,

"Jangan cakap diri sendiri miskin selalu tak ada duit, nanti betul-betul Allah bagi tak ada duit."

When we feel ourselves not having that much money when actually we got RM10 in our purse, doesn't it mean that we feel like RM10 is not enough for us at the moment? Are we calibrating "ada duit" with amount of money that we have? Oh kalau macam tu, orang yang just ada RM5 dalam purse dia semua miskin.

Then you merungut macam-macam tak ada tu tak ada ni, tak ada masa, tak ada makanan, tak ada baju. Sampai bebila pun hidup kau tak akan rasa lapang dan mudah, sebab at all time you tak puas hati dengan apa yang you dah ada.

And bila rasa tak puas dengan apa yang ada tu wujud dalam diri,
That is when the barakah goes away.

Kurangkan merungut,
Banyakkan bersyukur.

InsyaAllah, Allah akan tambah.
(Ibrahim: 7)

Random #11

I’m the one I should love in this world
Shining me, precious soul of mine
I finally realized, so I love me
Not so perfect but so beautiful
I'm the one I should love

-Epiphany