Thursday, May 3, 2018

Prove to them, firstly to yourself

This one sentence, semoga boleh terpahat dalam diri

"Kita orang belajar tinggi, buat perangai macam orang yang belajar."
-Ibu

Takkan sebab orang marah
Bermaksud kita kena marah balik?

Yup
Biar orang marah
Tapi kita tutup mulut mereka dengan usaha dan hasil

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

hipstermedically we can call it as "throw-pyrexia"

Assalamualaikum

Recently i got (or gett-ing, because it still happening) chickenpox, not knowing from who, when or where. Finally. So now my face is full with red dots ranging from macules, papules, vesicles, blisters and dried crusts. So does the other parts of body.

Once i told ibu that this really sucks. Because i feel healthy despite of all the visible symptoms on my body which made people worry/afraid. I cannot go out, i cant attend classes, i made lesson plans for my students but i cannot work it out because im infectious.

Then ibu said, "hilang pahala, dapat dosa lagi".
Sebab merungut dapat demam campak

...

Actually i think all those fuss/whim i made is actually just for the sake to unleash
the inner part of me that just want to get attention?
Macam ngade ngade gitulah

Meh nak reflect sikit
Just for my future-self's reading

The day after i got my mc, i decided to go to school to deliver it to my teacher, informing them that i cannot come for the next 10 days. Then i planned to enter a morning class (in my schedule), passing them handouts for exam together with instructions that should be conducted by the class committee, went to the other class afterwards to do the same, then to the third class to pass them the simplified note for the new chapter.

And i was eager to go to school,
too eager that it makes me still having the regret contracting chickenpox
Yeah, i mean, im too excited for new lesson..
Can't help that

So the night before i should prepare everything right
The ideas were running fast in my mind

Yet me was too lazy. I felt asleep during preparing the materials. Then the next morning, i woke up really late. My home to school is 15 mins away by motorcycle at full speed. But if i need to go out before 7.30am, I should prepared to leave 30 mins earlier because the road can be quite busy. Plus, i haven't photocopy the exam papers. Duh.

Sure, what happen next was ---- 
I LOST MY INTEREST TO GO TO SCHOOL
Haha. Dushh. 


But i still went there anywhere. I managed to finish everything on time
Drive like a racer, then run like a runner
And went back home. My mc-mode is onn

..................

What im reflecting is--

1. For sure if you done everything well, you prepare perfectly, you set everything nicely and deliver everything according to your schedule, of course you will be delighted to do EVERYTHING in your life. You will have fun and more energized to accomplish things.

But if you mess up, if you irresponsible, do everything late, not preparing well, everyone in this world will think that their life is not the best ever.

Your performance will be bad, your boss will be angry at you
You will be angry at other people too.. the world will never be better by this way

Do something, and be responsible.
You will feel like living. The world need you to form a better place for its inhabitants.
Jangan jadi lebihan dunia pulak.

2. Don't curse the disease. It's qada minallah. Semuanya dah tertulis kat luh mahfuz even before you born. Ibu said this to me:

"Haa, see rezeki tu milik Allah. Siapa kata bila nabila dapat kerja boleh dapat duit? (because before i fussed about having no money ngeh2 that i stressed about the need to work) Now you got the job yet you cannot make money in this 10 days. Just rehat je."

Meh. Sure. Allah is the best planner.


Ok sekian.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I can sleep anywhere

Assalamualaikum

Memang Allah Al-Mujib, within 1 week membebel pasal hidup takde tujuan, pappp minggu ni menjadi minggu tersibuk aku. Walaupun harini baru hari selasa. Dalam dunia ni takde benda yang rugi kalau kita always look at the brighter side. Being a doctor not the worst job on earth. Juga bukan job yang paling takde tidur. So, anggaplah waktu yang sedang dilalui ini sebagai sebuah latihan before nak tempuh waktu yang lebih dahsyat di kemudian hari. 

Fokus kepada apa yang diberi. Dalam tugas sebagai service provider kepada society, langkah yang dihayun itu pasti punya bermacam barakah. Alangkah rugi jika niatnya salah. Atau niatnya pendek, tidak luas atau jauh kehadapan. Sayang sekali, bila hanya penat yang dirasai. Cheer up wahai saya, bersama adik adik adalah medan terbaik untuk berbakti. Dan ladang untuk menanam pohon jariyah. Mana tahu tanpa di sangka ia menjadi saham kunci untuk masuk ke syurga?

Tapi, memang serius.

Allah tu Al-Mujib. Serius. Seriussssss! 

Friday, March 23, 2018

Gersang tanpa kesan

Ini adalah satu petikan daripada buku yang sedang dibaca yang tak habes habes sejak beberapa tahun yang lalu. Dikongsikan di sini sebagai peringatan buat diri ini yang entah kenapa ada satu zaman tu suka sangat terjah memorylane baca post sendiri:

"Pada umumnya, apabila seorang atlet tidak berlatih sekali, maka dirinya akan tahu -dan tentu Allah SWT. Bila dua kali tidak latihan, maka pelatihnya akan tahu. Bila tiga kali absen dari latihan, akhirnya penonton akan tahu.

Bagaimana dengan kita? Berkali-kali tidak latihan, berhari-hari tidak membaca referensi, kurang ibadahnya, sedikit tilawahnya, kikir sedekahnya, jarang silaturrahimnya, bahkan kurang berbakti kepada kedua orang tuanya, namun merasa enjoy saja mengisi materi tarbawi. Sehingga keringlah suasana, kerontanglah majelis dan gersanglah tarbiyah."


.
.

Yes, it will be very obvious yang kita akan berubah bila kita tak biasa bersama ibadah, tarbiyah, ect. At least i am. Very obvious. Sobs.

Cara fikir, cara cakap. Everything.

.
.

2nd petikan

"Menjadi murabbi itu pilihan sukarela. Sebab untuk masuk syurga tidak usah dipaksa-paksa. Kan aneh kalau untuk mendapat nikmat harus pakai taklimat?"

"Ikhlaskan saat melakukan tugas dan kewajipan ataupun ketika ditimpa kesulitan, karena seseungguhnya kita akan ditolong oleh amal kebaikan yang kita lakukan."


-pakshol