Monday, March 9, 2015

Kemanisan Iman


Usual routine on saturday night, we gonna have a class among akhawats, discussing on selected books. This is what we call as 'bedah buku' as we're going deep on each words stated in it to get the full understanding of what the author wants a reader to grasp upon reading such book. And the things that i like the most is when each of us share about her opinion or extra notes or experiences that they got before and indulge/integrate them with the book's content.

So the last saturday is the day when i was moody enough to put people around me under tension. Haha. But the class begun as usual, and i came a little bit late that it spoiled my mood to some extent; but anyhow let's just enjoy today's lesson.

Kak Ainin was the one being the presenter on that night. So her soft decent voice somewhere melts my hard-cobble-stoned heart that i started to pay attention. I keep giving myself a whisper "nabila, tajdid niat, tajdid niat." It was not long from the beginning of the discussion when kak Ainin suddenly called my name, "nabila, boleh tak awak share sikit macam mana perasaan lazatnya kemanisan iman tu."

Shocked. A lot.

"...Awak mestilah pernah rasa kan. Entah-entah banyak kali." Her face blossomed with a smile...

..while me, pouting a face like being chocked by something big --a monster. Peluh besar nak jawab. I hate this kind question upon times like this. But all of the akhawats already turned their face towards me; then i need to answer it.


"Manisnya iman tu feeling dia macam kita rasa seronok sangat dengan Allah tu. Rasa energetic sangat nak buat ibadah tu, ye la, sebab kita rasa seronok, rasa happy."

And as the words going down I feel like i'm stabbing myself with an arrow. Multiple times. Haih.

I guess Allah loves me so much that He always put me in this kind of situation. Really hope that He'll never turn Himself back from me and leave this terrible awful horrible kind of servant by herself.


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